AGE: 55

PROFESSION: Psychotherapist/Consultant/Empowerment Coach

What is the best thing about being your age?

I come from a family in which many have not been blessed with the opportunity to age into their 50s, so being here to celebrate milestones, support my children, have time with friends, find joy in adventure and know that my loved ones don't mourn for me is a tremendous gift. While aging is often treated with disdain in our society, I embrace the opportunities I've been given to participate in life, experience love and joy, and develop the wisdom, compassion, and growth that comes with each year. Time and experience are the only means of developing these superpowers and they only have the capacity to grow stronger as I age. (and let's face it, it beats the alternative 😂)

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What hardships have you endured that you feel have made you stronger?

My life has been so blessed with family and love. As a trauma therapist, I witness the effects of generational wounds and pain every day as I support clients on their healing journeys. So, from that perspective I have come to realize that, despite significant health issues, life stressors associated with raising a family, and challenges that come with navigating this world as an aging woman, I don't define my experiences as hardship, but opportunity and feedback that help me grow and learn.

 

The only true hardship I have experienced is the loss of all of family and many friends that surrounded me in love and safety, allowing me to weather life's storms and challenges without harm. Being the "sole survivor" of my family has brought unimaginable pain, but learning to persevere, being of service in this world, loving unconditionally are gifts they gave me...I honor and keep their love alive by living from their model.

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What is your idea of perfect happiness?

I do not believe there is any perfect happiness. Happiness is an emotion and emotions are temporary. That said, though, nothing brings me greater happiness than strong connection with my loved ones so I strive to seek fulfillment in my life through my personal relationships, career, and passions...in that, I am able to experience joy and happiness more fully, even during life's greatest trials, such as loss.

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What is your most treasured possession?

When I turned 18, I received my great, great grandmother's wedding ring, a beautiful antique diamond-set filagree piece of jewelry I'd grown up seeing on my mother's finger. It has been passed down to each daughter on her 18th birthday. (thankfully there's only been one daughter in each generation 😁) While it is only mine to have temporarily in this life, that connection to the lineage of strong women that came before me and is passed from generation to generation will always be treasured. I feel blessed to have a daughter to continue the tradition.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

There are many things I'm proud of in my life professionally, personally, educationally...but given how much I have yet to learn and experience, I hope my greatest achievements are yet to come!

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What is a trait you are most proud of?

My empathy, compassion, and ability to attune to others' emotional worlds are gifts that sometimes feel like superpowers. While many may still look at these as "soft," I am able to see navigate life while viewing the world with less filter or defenses, allowing me to respond more fully, authentically, and in a manner that creates safety for others. I feel incredibly strong, having learned how to harness these traits and allow them to grow as they provide inner peace, connection, and understanding that result in my ability to have a positive influence in the world that spreads far beyond what I can control.

What is your greatest extravagance?

Although I believe that aging is a gift, it doesn't mean I have to look or feel old. I will never go to extreme measures to alter my appearance in hopes of looking younger (although I'm a firm believer that women should do whatever makes them feel comfortable in their own skin), but I absolutely choose to age in a way that leaves me feeling healthy, glowing, and confident. This results in a bit of a "financial investment"i in high quality facials, haircuts, and products. Yes, it's an extravagance , but I'm worth it. 😂

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What advice would you give your younger self?

Worry less about the future...you can't control what comes, only your response to it.

Do not ever feel "lesser than," inferior, or judged by others. People's behaviors are about their own emotions , self-perception, and intolerance to sit with their own sh*t, not about you.

Don't wait to travel when you'll have more money and time...once you have a family, it will never feel like you have either.

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What is your motto or favorite quote?

I find inspiration and motivation from so many sources...literature, music, scripture, pop culture ...that identifying a single motto or quote is near impossible. That said, the words that resonate with me daily are the ones passed on from my mother and grandmother, reinforcing gratitude, the gift of time, and the strength and beauty that come from confidence and experience, not magazines or social norms...

"This is the day the Lord hath made...rejoice and be glad in it."~ Psalms 118:24

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life" ~ Charles Dederich

“She was powerful not because she wasn’t scared but because she went on so strongly, despite the fear.” ~ Atticus

"True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows; the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows." ~ Audrey Hepburn

 

Words of wisdom to younger women...

Embrace your mistakes and flaws... they are the feedback that will guide your growth, wisdom, and beauty and make you unique and irreplaceable. Failure is a word that gets misused to describe our mistakes, but the reality is, we only fail when we refuse to try. Be brave and bold--make lots of mistakes.

How you show up in the world is entirely up to you and not to be dictated by anybody else's definition of what or whom you should be or do. But to do so, take the risk to look inside, embrace the parts of you that feel uncomfortable or negative...they are there to protect and inform you, not hurt or hinder you...they have the power to be your inner advisors and protectors if you learn to understand, reassure, and harness their benevolent energy...they will help you develop your own superpowers.

 

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